let the music save you ♥

This is the rape joke:
My best friend was four years old the first time his father came into his room at midnight and tore out his throat. He still has days when I cannot hold him because the memory of a bleeding trachea haunts his doorway. He has not been home for the holidays in many years, but – even now – hands are seen as weapons.

This is the rape joke:
I have been told by more than twenty people that they have been raped. To all of them, I asked where the rapist was. From none of them, I heard ‘jail.’

This is the rape joke:
Once my brother told me that I was so ugly, I would be a virgin forever. Unless someone raped me. But even they wouldn’t come back for seconds.

This is the rape joke:
I believed him.

This is the rape joke:
I now look at every woman on the street and wonder if the space between her legs is a crime scene, surrounded by ripped caution tape. The statistics tell me that this is so common that I will never be in a room that does not contain a survivor. Not even if I am in that room alone.

This is the rape joke:
I was thirteen years old, and he was supposed to be just a friend.

This is the rape joke:
When his older brother came home, the boy pulled away. He wiped the tears from my face and said ‘we should do this again some time.’

This is the rape joke:
When I finally told my parents, they asked what I had been wearing.

This is the rape joke:
I had been wearing my innocence. My trust. I had worn the love I held for humanity and expected to be treated well. I had never been taught that I would be that girl, the one who keeps a mine of secrets between her legs – that girl was the slut. I wasn’t supposed to be breakable.
What had I been wearing? I wore the rape joke, then I became it.

This is the Rape Joke | d.a.s

After Lora Mathis’s poem “the Rape Joke

fishingboatproceeds:

On conservation and permanence.

fishingboatproceeds:

On conservation and permanence.

It would be too easy to say that I feel invisible. Instead, I feel painfully visible, and entirely ignored.
David Levithan

unfollower:

peekaboo is essentially just making fun of babies for not understanding object permanence 

"My response to the “I am not a feminist” internet phenomenon….

First of all, it’s clear you don’t know what feminism is. But I’m not going to explain it to you. You can google it. To quote an old friend, “I’m not the feminist babysitter.”

But here is what I think you should know.

You’re insulting every woman who was forcibly restrained in a jail cell with a feeding tube down her throat for your right to vote, less than 100 years ago.

You’re degrading every woman who has accessed a rape crisis center, which wouldn’t exist without the feminist movement.

You’re undermining every woman who fought to make marital rape a crime (it was legal until 1993).

You’re spitting on the legacy of every woman who fought for women to be allowed to own property (1848). For the abolition of slavery and the rise of the labor union. For the right to divorce. For women to be allowed to have access to birth control (Comstock laws). For middle and upper class women to be allowed to work outside the home (poor women have always worked outside the home). To make domestic violence a crime in the US (It is very much legal in many parts of the world). To make workplace sexual harassment a crime.

In short, you know not what you speak of. You reap the rewards of these women’s sacrifices every day of your life. When you grin with your cutsey sign about how you’re not a feminist, you ignorantly spit on the sacred struggle of the past 200 years. You bite the hand that has fed you freedom, safety, and a voice.

In short, kiss my ass, you ignorant little jerks.”

Libby Anne

mister-sensible:

materiajunkie:

"Curing AIDS? Shit, that’s like Cadillac making a car that lasts for 50 years. And you know they can do it, but they ain’t going to do nothing that fucking dumb. Shit, they got metal on the Space Shuttle that can go around the Moon and withstand  temperatures of up to 20,000 degrees, you mean to tell me you don’t think they can make an El Dorado with a fuckin’ bumper that don’t fall off?"

- Chris Rock (“Bigger and Blacker”, 1999)

i love/hate that this shit is still so relevant

I don’t know why people teach kids about ‘pimples’ and ‘hormones’ and ‘armpit hair’, and refrain from telling them that if they don’t achieve their billion-dollar dreams at the age of twenty-one, there will still be much more to life. And that when you fail at your first job, it isn’t going to be the end of the world. And eventually you will realize that each person’s world is different and your only job is to figure out what your best world can be.

Hannah Hart, My Drunk Kitchen

the realest life advice you will ever get 

(via helbigandswift)

I think about dying but I don’t want to die, not even close. In fact my problem is the complete opposite. I want to live, I want to escape. I feel trapped and bored and claustrophobic, theres so much to see and so much to do but I somehow still find myself doing nothing at all. I’m wasting every second, even now i’m writing this when I should be out there, I should be living. I’m still here in this metaphorical bubble of existence and I can’t quite figure out what the hell i’m doing or how to get out.

laughatthestars:

today, my school hosted an exhibit for suicide awareness day. the exhibit included 1,100 backpacks in representation of the number of lives that are lost to mental illness each year on college campuses. many of these backpacks were donated by the families that lost loved ones and had their stories attached. i’m so proud of my school for bringing attention to such a serious issue.

Something funny happens to people who are lonely. The lonelier they get, the less adept they become at navigating social currents. Loneliness grows around them, like mould or fur, a prophylactic that inhibits contact, no matter how badly contact is desired. Loneliness is accretive, extending and perpetuating itself. Once it becomes impacted, it isn’t easy to dislodge.
Olivia Laing, ”Me, Myself and I”
When the time comes for you to make a change, to grow, to do your life in a different way, the universe will make you so uncomfortable, so unhappy, you will eventually have no choice. If you insist on staying in a place you no longer belong in, if you do not grow the courage to do what is necessary to propel yourself forward, you will suffer the consequences, whatever they may be.
Iyanla Vanzant

i’ve been feeling depressed lately, but i’ve been trying to fight/ignore it. now i don’t feel this way about anyone else, only when it comes to myself. i can’t really explain it, but maybe you understand. i guess i place stigma on my own mental health. i don’t feel like i should be depressed, and i actually question if i really am. and i feel like i’m too old to be feeling this way, and i just need to get over myself and stop having a pity party. but i just can’t shake the sadness and emptiness that i’m feeling.

i feel like it’s getting bad again and i’m terrified to end up where i was 3 years ago. a big part of what’s bothering me lately is that i feel like everyone hates me, and that i have no one in my life. anyone who talks to me is friends with my boyfriend, and i feel like they only tolerate me because of him.

i thought i was doing okay, but i guess nothing’s really been the same since i first got depressed. i no longer have any idea how to maintain relationships and it’s exhausting for me to carry a conversation. i’m much more happy being alone and not having to deal with anyone. i think i forget what it was like before. because when i really think about it, i never used to be this way. i enjoyed being around others, and i had lots of friends.

but then i think, maybe i’ve changed and this is who i am now? maybe this is what it’s like to grow up? i really don’t know. or have i just done too much damage to the relationships i used to have?  

the two people who are closest to me (my boyfriend and mother) don’t think there’s anything wrong with me. they think it’s just life and these are things everyone deals with. and i think they have influenced how i feel about this. like, if they were both to tell me, i think you have a problem let’s get you help, i would be like wow okay you’re right. i guess i just need validation from someone. no, from them, because i feel like they are the only people i can trust. i don’t know. but i wonder if maybe i was completely honest with them and told them everything that goes on in my head, they would think differently. but i guess part of me is scared to admit anything’s wrong.

i don’t know. this whole post has just gone back and forth, and i haven’t really figured anything out. i thought writing it out would help, but i don’t know that it has.

themanwithfrozenhearts:

im a really affectionate person once you get past my 5 layers of shyness, awkwardness, fear, vague dislike, and loneliness